With fear at a heightened pitch in Montreal, Stephen Harper has gotten tougher on crime this year. Murder, drug trafficking, kidnappings, shoplifting, gang banging are all on the rise – and now, it appears that High Ho’s are invading the city! With the decriminalization of medical marijuana and of prostitution, there are fears that this is a pan-Canadian phenomenon! High Ho’s are everywhere and the word is that they are particularly horny for the Jews amongst us!
For many, the arrival of the High Ho’s (aka Rosh Hashana, Yom Kippur and Succoth) marks the holiest time of year. A time for reflection and growth and renewal. Of reconnecting with friends and with community. Others would prefer to just get high and do it with a sex-worker. For some of us, both of these are true!
The first Hebrews didn’t initially thrill to the idea that they were part of a community whose leader was at a one-man Pow-Wow with God. We all know how the story goes. Moses was a stenogragher for the “we are a spiritual-ethical-one-God-only- community” while the kids at base camp were fashioning a huge Schwartz’ smoked-meat sandwhich out of gold.
If the ancient Hebrews were afraid, alienated, avoiders, sinners, in love with beauty and idols, and jonesing for an awesome party with a huge golden calf disco ball and a hot DJ….then it is no surprise that some Jews today don’t gush over the coming of the High Holy Days, and expect a month filled with alienation, boredom, fear, excitement, confusion and a host of other fun activities. If you don’t speak Hebrew and haven’t learned the holy dance and don’t really get what folks are saying in synagogue or why they are bowing now and hopping then ….well, all of a sudden, you might feel like you are part of a cult (of really nice and loving community members and all) and that if you were looking at you from the outside, you’d be calling for an intervention.
The push and pull of religion is never more present then at this time of year. Rosh Hashana, Yom Kippur, Succoth- the big guns are all upon us and they pull at our tribal heart strings and they ask us to reflect and to do ritual and act as if we are whole-heartedly part of this ancient Jew parade.
Dear readers, Shtetl wishes you all a new year full of peace, of risk-taking, of knowing thy self, of loving your neighbours whoever they may be, whatever religion they are or language they speak. May this year be full of highs- and not all substance-induced ones- and full of good food, soulful moments, wild dancing, deep talks with friends. May you read TONS of articles on Jewish arts and culture and may you get down to all the cool and eclectic semitic tunes out there.
Shtetl wants to hear from you. What does “observing” the High Ho’s mean to you? Have you ever gotten high or had “unkosher” sex during this holiday season? Any other alternative, traditional, or hybrid way in which you get down with the High Ho’s?
Anyone who leaves a comment will not only be guaranteed a spot in the Book of Life but can also win a copy of The Socalled Movie, free pair of tickets to Le Mood on October 14th, a pair of tickets to the hot Parisian Arthur H with Montrealer Daniel Isaiah at POP, or a pair of tickets to Peaches DJ Extravaganza also at POP Montreal. We’ll do the draw from the succah at Cinema L’Amour on Sept 19th and let you know if you won by email.
Happy Holidays y’all!
Tamara
Editor of Shtetl Magazine
Host of Shtetl on the Shortwave
I’ve been known to celebrate Roach HaShannah and Hot Box a Sukkah or two.
Powerful words yo! Happy Ho’leedayz to all.
One of the hardest parts of the High Ho’s for me is that I feel I have to become someone totally immersed in what our tradition and rituals typically act out. The only problem is that I’m just not sure I’m really there in my heart. Then comes this voice of anxiety that speaks out from inside of me asking if I’m truly being authentic. Now I’m really caught in a catch 22. I’m trying to live up to something I want to be a part of – but it doesn’t feel like I’m exactly there – and in the process of trying, my doubts are raising the questions of whether I really buy into the system in the first place.
Messed up? Confused? Am I alone out there? Does anyone else have a clue what I’m trying to say?
Happy High ho’s
Is pot even kosher? Dayenu!
Dude, it’s an herb! from the G-d given earth! of course it’s Kosher!
There has always seemed to me something subversive about performing Jewishness on the chuggim – whether it’s a guaranteed get-out-of-work/school-card in a “secular” (christian) national context or walking diagonally through normally busy intersections- robed in white-Israeli kind of experience. It’s not so much about knowing the words to prayers as it is about sharing in the collective cry and banging on chests of messy human yearning for something other than the closet of their selves. And there is something really magical about that music that goes down: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U4WYnSFqh6k
Mogwai – “My Father, My King”
And I sat with future Maitre Cohn while he ate a bacon double cheeseburger at McDonalds on Yom Kippur. What was a friend to think? My eyes burned with the audacity. We walked back down the block, parting ways. Him going to the orthodox shul, me to the conservative, where the genders sat together and even allowed women to read from the Torah. What a joke. I bet he would deny it, if I ever brought it up.
I prefer to waste my time watching Batman and Star Wars – I find it more entertaining fiction. Check out what Carlin has to say: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6RT6rL2UroE
well, hi’hos were one of the few acceptable reasons to skip school, public school, a long time ago, in buenos aires. but the landmark was the gorgeous, overcopious meal at my mother’s mother house, without any mention ever of religion or even jewishness…for years i believed it was my bobe’s birthday! a real bundist family.
maybe we don’t need symbols so much anymore, maybe real life is interesting enough, deep enough, intense enough to calm our fears about death and other transwordly mysteries.
and, maybe, we don’t need to be told anymore when it is the good time for a glass of wine with friends, to enjoy a good jewish meal, or, of course, to have unkosher sex…
Jb, is that Duddy Kravitz?
What a montreal-centric comment! Depravity exists across Canada. Gud yontiv
During my year abroad in university I was on a weekend trip to Paris that year on Yom Kippur. My mom guilted me into fasting. And so I did. And was super grumpy while sight seeing … honestly I can’t remember if I caved in and ate a croissant or not. That day is a blur in my memory. Not a lot of introspection was had. I like the idea of fasting and reflecting on life, but it’s rare that I’m actually in the mindset to do it on Yom Kippur, and then I usually just feel guilty about doing it half-assed. But boy does food ever taste amazing when you’re done …
For me high ho’s are memories of the days gone by–and thoughts about what can lie ahead! Is there any fuckin possibility that we can build compassion, have peace, stop politicians from bullshiting and lying to us, help those in need. be environmentally friendly, stop injustice, care for each other–it seems to me 3 -5 days a year are not enough to accomplish this! Is it worth a start once again?
“The push and pull of religion is never more present then at this time of year”…wise words TK…thank you.
Wishing you many HIGHS and few LHO’S. to getting down with High Ho’s!
xo
Thanks JC! What are LHO’s? Sounds like fun.
Mark, I hear you! Not only was I a little white boy feeling like a minority in a Sephardic setting, I sat there searching for feeling while watching others I knew to be scoundrels behaving like the most pious and then circling around to questioning my own judgement of them and therefore me. The Hi Ho’s for me are bitter sweet, not only because i’ve had to fast on a number of my birthdays over the years, superstition/tradition makes me practice half way or my way. I fast and try to spend a day introspecting, I just don’t do it in synagogue. We legitimize things however we need to…Happy Hi Hos to all and thanks Tamara for your hilarious observations,
The High Hos used to be so lame for me. I felt totally out of place at synagogue surrounded by Jews who seemed to know a hell of a lot more about being Jewish than i did. But, since the Mile End Chavurah was created, I actually love the high hos. I get to see people in my community that i love and really take the time to reflect on what a big sinner I am and maybe even chat about it in the bathroom.
Great article TK, wanna sit next to me in synagogue? BTW: If I happen to be the lucky winner I have a great fondness for Peaches!
Hilarious! I love it. I’ve been struggling with the High Ho’s this year. Jewish guilt vs. feeling of relevance and succumbing to the same ritual year after year. I feel like the High Ho’s are wranglers with cattle prods trying to get us in some kind of fenced in pen.
Growing up I did not go to synagogue during the High Holidays – my parents were Holocaust suvivors, traumatized and not quite sure about how to pray to G-d. Later as a young adult, when I got around to remembering the Hi Ho’s, or tried services, I felt bored, alienated and outside the tribe. It was really only when I had my own children, when I had to make clear decisions about what to do around identity and faith, that I discovered how beautiful the Days of Awe can be. Talk about Tushuva or “return”! Today I feel fortuante to ask those prickly Hi Ho questions and hear the shofar call.
My least kosher HighHo experience involved visiting Wreck Beach in Vancouver on Yom Kippur. For those of you who don’t know, Wreck Beach is a “clothing optional” beach at the foot of UBC campus. I went down there to “reflect,” not for the boobs or the bums or the space cakes. But I’m not going to tell you my eyes didn’t wander from time to time. The good news for believers is that I was almost immediately punished for the transgression, forced to climb the nearly 500 steps back up to campus on an empty stomach.
Since my parents passed away, I inherited the responsibility – and joy – of hosting the family for holiday dinners. I was brought up in the food-is-love school of belief, and take pride in not only cooking things I love (Cuban food, soul food, etc.) but also now am making roast chicken the way my mom used to, homemade potato knishes and honey cake.
This is my way of actively reflecting upon my past and embracing something that I tried to get away from as a way of individuating myself. I’m almost ready to welcome a season of introspection, hope and tikkun. In the words of the Ramonisher Rebbe, “High Hos, Let’s go!”
Your article brings me back to our “deep” discussions about things I don’t normally think about and you always made me think about life from a different perspective. Thank you for challenging me to think “out of the traditional box” . For me, the holidays are about family, friends and thinking how to be the best version of myself . Each year is another opportunity to reinvent myself . I love what you do and you never cease to amaze me with your talents and creativity!
When did Jews get so HOt and HOrny for the HOlidays? If I knew, I would’ve circumcised my husband a long time ago and joined the party. Great light hearted article that reminds us all to take some time to have fun, respect our pasts and get groovy with people of all feathers. Keep it up! I mean it, up, Up, UP!
It feels like such a relief to finally be able to live my Judaism without and “shoulds”. No longer hedged in by my inherited Jewish guilt, it has become increasingly important to me to engage in the holidays with intention and sincerity. If I feel like praying, I pray, if not, I am at peace with whatever that looks like. The creation and perpetuation of the MECH has provided a lot of people with some much needed breathing room and a place to just be Jewish, whatever that ends up looking like.